A catch up post

31 July 2021

Sorry, it's been a bit quiet over here! 

I've been trying to spin a lot of plates recently and have left writing on the back seat for a bit so I thought I'd try and update you on a few things as I've now broken up for Summer and will hopefully have more time to spend blogging instead of writing what felt like thousands of revision cards. 

Hope you're all okay too and not melting in this heatwave! (I wrote this sentence a while ago and now the weather is rubbish. So you can all blame me, sorry.)

The last time I properly spoke on here, it was quite a big, heavy post! Before I go any further, I just wanted to say thank you for the overwhelming response to it and for those that messaged with their own stories after I shared mine. Anxiety and mental health is a huge topic that affects everyone at some point in their life and has made more of an impact on people due to the complexities of the last year and a half. Everyone's story is different and before I shared mine, I found it so comforting and eye-opening to hear other people's and the ways in which they have coped. It's quite a scary thing to share, a very scary thing for some but it's a massive step in the right direction. 

Telling people is mentally exhausting but such a weight lifter and reiterated to me how many supportive people I have in my life and writing it out to share online to a bigger audience was me hoping to make at least one person feel less alone. 

I mentioned starting counselling and how that was a big step for me. I've had over 10 sessions so far and I can see such a difference in myself from when I started to now. I've learned so much about anxiety itself, what actually is a panic attack (and how I started having them 4 years ago and didn't know), the science behind them, why I reacted in certain ways that actually weren't good for me and learning new ways to deal with anxiety. It's been so eye-opening to talk to someone professional, away from your family and friends circle. 

As I've already said, I had my mocks a few weeks before I broke up for the summer holidays and revision took up a lot of my time. However, apart from revising (but not really knowing what to do) for my GCSEs that actually never happened, I felt that the revision I did and techniques I used were successful. I was also anxious about going into a hall that holds many factors that I don't like, and after many discussions with my teachers, I was able to go into a smaller room to complete my exams and it was the best decision. It made a huge difference! 

Apart from making it through each week to the summer holidays and being so busy with school work in the final weeks, I haven't really got much else to say. I'm so happy to be having a break and to be able to focus on other things! 

I just wanted to say a quick hello before posting more content, time off from blogging has made me accumalate so many ideas! 

If you could pick one word to describe how you feel right now, what would it be?

Bethan xx

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