This kind of feels like deja vu as we've been here before but this time is different. 

Having 6 months off school last year and not much work at all is something I selfishly miss right now, maybe just the warmer weather. But the reality is, it made me so anxious to go back to a sense of normality and start a whole new school, entering a new stage in my life. 

However, alas, the storm of Lockdown 3 hit us. We saw it coming but it was such a big shock to be told at first that we wouldn't be returning to school until February half term. (And it ended up being longer than that!) So many questions and worries were going through my head as I suddenly had to think about learning from home and how I was going to cope. But it's one of those things that you just have to get used to and adapt to quickly. You feel like you have no choice, well you don't if I'm being honest. I couldn't suddenly decide that I didn't want to learn from home or if I was having a day where I felt unmotivated, I still had to turn up to all my online lessons and try and focus. 

I'm definitely one of those people that can't think too negatively about something for too long, even if it's hard to try and think of a positive. I felt like I was a bit similar to how I was in lockdown 1 where I was really productive in the first week, getting up and exercising before my school day and baking banana bread but that didn't last long. I did however get up everyday throughout the three months and get dressed, that was one of the things that made me feel so much better. Along with my walks and yoga too! 

It was such an odd thing to get used to and I found it so hard to separate working and giving myself time off. I struggle with it anyway but it was worse in Lockdown as I had the ability to sit down at my desk or dining room table and just work all day. There wasn't a set time where I felt like I could stop or that I deserved a break, not like at school where the bell goes and that's it for the day apart from a bit of homework in the evening. It also didn't help that at some points I felt completely snowed under with my work and the only way I felt like I could solve that was just to get my head down and continuously work which is not the best idea at all. I just carried on working through the evening and before I knew it, I had basically spent the whole day sitting at the dining room table. 

With everything like this, I find it difficult to get my head around for the first week and then I'm into a routine again where I feel comfortable. I think for the most part of Lockdown I was in a bit of a bubble where I felt safe at home with just me and my laptop. I didn't think too much into the future, even though it worried me a lot, as I had no idea when I would be returning to school and when life would get a bit more normal. 

So when we got told that all schools would be returning in two weeks on March 8th, I guess I was a bit shaken up inside? I'd spent the last 3 months at home and now I had to return to normal, get on a bus and be in class again? Something that once felt so normal for me suddenly felt the opposite. I spoke to my mum several times about my worries of going back and she said to remind myself of how gutted I was to finish early on the 10th December and what I would have done to be back at school. I found that helpful to think about and reminded me of the positives. I was so excited to see my friends again and seriously ready to say goodbye to live lessons. Everything is so much easier at school, no more waiting for email replies or having to unmute when you really don't want to. 

It's one of those things that I worried about for weeks and thought of every possible irrational thought but once I was back, I wondered why I worried so much. It felt like a massive thing especially as it had been so long but I got on the bus and it was like it hadn't been three months at all. I don't think I stopped talking all day but being back with my friends in person was such a mood lifter, even if I got back on the bus mentally exhausted! I am definitely not used to having that much social interaction. 

My anxiety has been heightened since Christmas, possibly due to lockdown and the uncertainty of everything. It has really tested me these past few weeks, especially with being back at school and in a class room environment wearing a mask all the time. You're definitely not alone if you're feeling like this too. 

However, I love being able to have my frees at school where I'm able to chat with my friends and maybe get some work done too haha but I can manage my work load better and feel like I can give myself more time off at home. Being back at school does actually feel so refreshing and like a step in the right direction towards finding some kind of normality. But also at some points, I feel anxious and overwhelmed which is okay too.

How are you all finding the back to school process? 

Bethan xx

Spring fashion is here! And I found so many things I love, mostly on Asos and a few from Zara so I thought I'd share everything on here. I'm a huge lover of colour anyway but it's really 'in' right now which made it difficult for me to narrow things down! I have to say sage and pink are up there as my favourites at the moment. 

With restrictions easing soon and going back to school, people are going to be seeing what we're wearing! So making an effort won't be going to waste. *insert the sound of fireworks and celebration*  However, I'm still loving the casual 70s style with a bit of 90s with the wide leg jeans and check skirt! Therefore, I will not be dressing up any time soon. 

My hair is getting longer too so whilst it is still a longer length, I want to get some some things I can put it up with and I've seen quite a few people wear the claw clips which look cool. But I know it will be that thing that I try out and it just doesn't look as good on me! 

Colour makes me so happy and positive so I'm really here for this season's fashion and so excited to wear as much colour as possible. We just need the sun to make a consistent appearance now too. 

(The items are all linked so if you click on them, it will take you straight through to the item on the website.)